In the Quest to be Better, the Key to “We” is Me

user Monica Chi
calendar

Last week was a big week. Not only did my team host an event probing deeply into questions and issues surrounding divisiveness in our society, we did so during a week in which it reared its ugly head on a national stage. The Michael Cohen hearing was the ultimate manifestation of divisiveness, at least in a political realm.

What most affected me from that day were Representative Elijah Cumming’s closing words. The Chairman of the House Oversight Committee ended the hearing demonstrating empathy for Cohen, while at the same time rallying him, and frankly all of us, to be better – for the sake of our democracy, and for the world we’ll be passing on to the next generation. His emotion-filled words rang true when I first heard them, and they remain with me to this day. They were a high point in what was otherwise – no matter what your political posture – a dark day for America.

While the timing was unforeseen, our event, Dialogues on the Future of Leadership: Bridging the Divide provided an opportunity for leaders in attendance to deeply and pragmatically examine their beliefs through inquiry and mine them for unconscious bias. Educator and TED speaker Eldra Jackson provided moving testimony about his 24 years in the California state prison system and his journey of self-awareness, which allowed him to confront the “toxic masculinity” belief system that shaped him as a young man. In the most vulnerable situation imaginable, Eldra used inquiry to boldly confront and ultimately transform his life. His inspirational story is a powerful reminder that by overcoming our limiting beliefs, we can break down the invisible bars creating divisiveness in our world.

As leaders, it would be hard to come away from this workshop on inquiry – much less, the Cohen hearing – without considering the various ways that we can do better. In reflecting on this call to action, I have gotten clear on three areas where I personally can and will focus.

Listening – I commit to slowing it down in my interactions with others and doing a better job of noticing where I am listening from. Is it from a place of judgment…or one of openness and willingness to alter my perspective? Are the beliefs behind my judgments really true…or am I allowing an old “story” I have created about someone to limit my ability to truly hear and integrate their perspective? Sometimes simply noticing my thinking creates a shift.

Honesty – I can do better in examining more deeply my own motivations. Where am I committed to “looking good and being right” at the expense of the relationships and results I really want to cultivate in my life?

Accountability – I can remind myself that I am accountable for my experience in every situation. As Elijah Cummings shared with Michael Cohen, pausing to question why something might be happening FOR us rather than TO us can make all the difference. For me, this is a poignant reminder that the world around me truly does unfold as a result of my actions, inactions, and interpretations. When I view myself as integral, I can change the world. When I perceive myself to be a victim to circumstances, I cede that power.

I’m writing this as a declaration in a world where we must do better, and I’m going to start with me.

Back to TriumIQ

Let’s Talk

Contact Us

Trium IQ

It’s Your Weaknesses, Not Strengths, That Make You A Good Coach And Leader

One of the core adages in any coaching or advisory work is simply that “no one will…

Read

A Time to Serve

To serve when you yourself are in need is the ultimate act of leadership. The new year…

Read

VIDEO | UiPath CFO Ashim Gupta Reflects on Trium Coaching Sessions

UiPath CFO Ashim Gupta shares how Trium’s personalized coaching taught him to better connect with himself, connect with others, and meet challenges in a more mature and measured way.

Watch

The Reset Moment: How Downturns Create the Dynamics for Innovation and Transformation

We tend to think of economic cycles as peaks and troughs of good times and bad —…

Read

Why CEO Storytelling Matters Today More Than Ever

What connects the animal scenes painted on cave walls in France 30,000 years ago, the 4000-year-old Epic…

Read

Perspective and Choice

From the stillness of perspective, you get to choose the quality of your experience. It is the…

Read

Three Ways to Embrace Team Appreciation

For leaders who want to make appreciation a year-round habit, this season of gratitude offers us a…

Read

What Story Are You Telling?

Leaders who choose to see uncertainty as an opportunity will be leaders who preside over businesses that…

Read

The Power of Proximity: Why “Up Close and Personal” is The Best Leadership Strategy In Complicated Times

The Power of Proximity is not about whether we’re in the office. It has nothing to do…

Read

Five Tips to Foster a Culture of Appreciation

When’s the last time you openly celebrated the achievements of a team member? A week ago? A…

Read

Be a Step-Down Leader: A Radical, New Paradigm for Leading in Anxious Times

Your primary job as a leader – in your family, community, or career – is to lower…

Read

VIDEO | Lightspeed Venture Partners Partner, Arif Janmohamed: Trium’s Expertise Applied to Venture Capital Firms

Lightspeed Venture Partners Partner Arif Janmohamed shares how Trium applies its unique expertise to Venture Capital firms.

Watch

VIDEO | MX Interim CEO & President, Shane Evans: Coaching through a Leadership Transition

MX Interim Chief Executive Officer and President Shane Evans shares the impact of Trium’s coaching through his transition to CEO of the company.

Watch

VIDEO | Zoom COO, Aparna Bawa: Advice to Leaders Considering Engaging a Coach

Zoom Chief Operating Officer Aparna Bawa shares her advice for leaders considering engaging a coach to support their development.

Watch

If You Want to Survive a Downturn, Invest in Leadership

We are all starting to feel the effects of the downturn and I’ve seen a lot of…

Read